Are you fired up for another inter-league series? Excited to watch the Sox take on the Phillies? Didn't think so. Me neither.
But maybe, just maybe, I've stumbled upon an article to stoke the little embers of passion you've managed to muster for these early-summer snooze fests. A turd so fresh and so warm, that it can't help but raise some form of reaction from you. Let it be known that on June 27, 2011 Philly.com's John Gonzalez fired the first shot!
Granted, it's the same shot you've been hearing since 2004, and one that's picked up considerable steam over the past 4 years. And one that has reached nauseating heights over the past couple weeks. But, dammit, John Gonzalez has an opinion on the subject and the Phillies series is the perfect opportunity to unleash his fury.
The stars have aligned in the soon-to-be award winning post titled, "Boston fans have become obnoxious" (Shock! Horror! Noooooooo!):
If there's a reason to end interleague play, this is it. The next few days figure to test our collective patience and sanity. Brace yourself: Boston fans are coming.
The Phillies will begin a three-game series with the Red Sox on Tuesday. Over the course of the season, the Fightin's do all sorts of promotional giveaways, everything from hats to bobbleheads. This would be a good time for a different kind of freebie: maybe noise-canceling headphones or, if those aren't enough and more drastic measures are needed, surplus World War II-era cyanide pills. One bite and the suffering will be over.
They've gotten out of control, these Boston fans. They've mutated. There was a time when they took a perverse pride in their suffering, when they romanticized their lack of sports luck. Then the Pats won and the Sox won and the Celtics won and, more recently, the Bruins won. Whatever humility Bostonians had was long ago traded for some of those giant "We're No. 1" foam fingers and a slew of omnipresent smug smiles.
And that's just scratching the surface, folks. You really should read it in its entirety. There's just something so familiar with his writing. It's as if I've read this article at least 75 times over the past 6 months. He even writes a sentence in, and you'll never believe this, a mock-Boston accent! Genius, right? Revolutionary, even. Where does he come up with this stuff?
Apparently John Gonzalez of Philly.com doesn't realize that he's in Philadelphia, writing about Philly sports. If some guy at St. Louis.com wants to take some shots at the Sox fans for their behavior? I could live with that.
But a Philly guy? You've got to be joking. The entire time I spent reading it, I kept waiting for the *wink, wink* 'I'm just being ironic' joke. But don't hold your breath, friends. It never comes.
Some Boston fans may have become obnoxious, but I'm pretty sure that John Gonzalez has always been that way.